How to put the spark back into your sex life!

A new survey into sexual attitudes in The Lancet has confirmed Brits are having 20% less sex than a decade ago, have less sexual partners and spend less time actually engaging in it. Why has this happened though you may wonder?

Dr Cath Mercer, senior lecturer in sexual health at UCL, thinks she might know why. Dr Mercer says: “Technology is to blame. People are taking their tablets and mobile phones into the bedroom and some use porn as a sex substitute.”

However, fear not! In the modern day, almost everything can be rectified with the right willpower and determination.  Therefore Men’s Health sex columnist Nichi Hodgson joined forces with fellow experts in her field to look as aspects in the bedroom and discuss ways to put the kick back into your love life!

Devices

What the survey says

The smartphone’s entry to the bedroom is the main thing diverting your attention from where it should be.”

What you can do

Research suggests that a whopping 81% of adults bring their mobile phone or tablet to bed with them and are willing to work late into the night – time that could be spent engaging in more fun activities!

“Treat the bedroom as a technology black zone,” says sexual psychologist Justin Duwe.

Try a week of banning devices such as tablets, TVs and embrace the reading and good conversation. Draw the line at an alarm clock! If the situation hasn’t picked up after a week, the issues may be just a bit deeper than an internet connection.

Worryingly, a recent survey conducted by Mobile Consumer Habits discovered that one in 10 Americans actually use their mobile phones during sex. We’re not sure that’s advisable though! A slight mood killer and who knows what people are posting on social media…

Tiredness

What the survey says

“You’re just too knackered. Longer working hours and lack of sleep are causing your sexual retreat.”

What you can do

Boost testosterone levels and sex drive by improving your diet and exercise training levels.

Exercise scientist David Lewis advises: “Doing a lower-body workout three times a week works like natural Viagra. Try hamstring curls, squats and step-ups.”

Next comes diet. Junk food, sugar and refined carbs have to go or be restricted as they will drastically hamper your energy levels and libido. “A study by Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston found that a single sugary drink lowered testosterone by up to 25%,” comments Dr Laura Tilt, a hormone specialist. Get zinc into your diet through pumpkin seeds, cashews or supps and benefit from a boost in both testosterone levels and sperm production.

To maintain this boost, “Eat foods that boost blood flow such as kale, dark chocolate and garlic,” says Dr Tilt. After two weeks you should really feel the improvement!

Monotony

What the survey says

“Same sex, different day. Sexual boredom is the biggest factor stopping you bothering when the lights go out.”

What you can do

“When a man tires of sex, he is tired of life,” is the view of Samuel Johnson. If you’re feeling a little bored of sex with you partner, you need to stop this psychological cycle.

How can you do this you may ask? “The most effective way to re-introduce lust is by calling a sex amnesty,” says Cynthia Graham, editor of the Journal of Sex Research. “Break down those mental barriers by offering your brain the forbidden fruit.” Let your partner know you are unable to have sex for a fortnight and following a few days, initiate a touching session – about 10 minutes each. “Touch each other where you want to, not where you think they want it. We’re so obsessed with giving pleasure that we don’t think about our own,” says Graham.

Stress

What the survey says

“More young men than ever are attributing their lack of drive to stress. The biggest cause: your job.”

What you can do

It is not just women who experience the dreaded Wednesday night ‘headache’. Relationship expert Susan Quilliam advises: “Learn to manage your stress levels with daily relaxation periods. A weekly massage or acupuncture session is ideal to get you in the mood.” acupuncture.org.uk will help you find a suitable practitioner but will cost you in the region of £50.

Don’t let stress get you down, sex could actually be the answer! It triggers the release of the body’s natural feel-good chemicals called endorphins and can help to regulate sleep. Quality and not quantity is the key.

“Avoid quickies and allow time for a ‘transition period’ (i.e. foreplay) to shift your mind from fretting to pleasure.” Remember that sex is probably one of the best and effective ways to appease and please your stressed partner. Anything is better than receiving the silent treatment!

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About Ferland Manuel

Dr, Manuel Ferland is health care specialist,